Inbox
by Sorceress5
Summary: heeheehee. The ASOUE charecters have gotten E-mail and it's VERY interesting. It's rated PG for some cursing and theres lots of shouting. Chapter 2 has the worlds respnse to Olafs secrets!!
1. Default Chapter

Ok, this is something I wrote when I was really board, and therefore, silliar then usual.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lemony Snickett. I do not own any of his charecters or places. I do not own A Seris of Unfortunent Events. I do not own the US. I do not own the world. What I do own is a small, imaginary, island called East New Bonga Bonga, where all my ideas take place. I also own Trina, and anyone else who did not come from the wildly wonderful mind of Lemony Snickett.  
  
By the way, see if you can guess who has what address before you complete the story.  
~  
  
To: coffcoffbanker@baudilaire.com  
reporterdarkgree@baudilare.com  
poetblack@baudilare.com  
bigtimereader@baudilare.com  
sharptoothbaby@baudilaire.com  
sadrecorder@baudilare.com  
evilolaf@baudilare.com  
alwaysin@baudilare.com  
From: inventorgirl@baudilare.com  
Subject:We've got mail!  
  
Hey everyone! just letting you know that we all now have an E-mail system so we can E-mail each other. Have fun!  
-Violet  
~  
To: bigtimereader@baudilare.com  
From: poetblack@baudilare.com  
Subject: We've got mail  
  
Hi Klaus! It's great to be able to talk to you again. Have you read any good books lately? I wrote a new couplet:  
  
Count Olaf is a horrible man  
I hope we never see him again  
  
Do you like it? And is Olaf still after you?  
-Isadora  
~  
To: poetblack@baudilare.com  
From: bigtimereader@baudilare.com  
Subject: duh  
Of course Olaf is still after our fortune. And I like your couplet very much.  
-Klaus  
~  
To: sharptoothbaby@baudilare.com  
From: evilolaf@baudilare.com  
Subject: Ha-Ha.  
Haha! I have you imprisoned FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  
-Count Olaf  
~  
To: authorofthisfanfic@baudilare.com  
From: evilolaf@baudilare.com   
Subject: grr  
Why does it have to be @baudilare.com? Why can't it be @olaf.com?  
-Count Olaf  
~  
To: evilolaf@baudilare.com  
From: authorofthisfanfic@baudilare.com  
Subject: grr  
Because the baudilaire orphans are the heroes and your just a stupid count.  
~  
To: alwaysin@baudilare.com  
From: evilolaf@baudilare.com  
Subject: virus's  
Hahahahaha. I am going to send a virus that will wipe the hard drive to that annoying author. She's such a jerk.  
Your love  
-Count Olaf  
~  
To: authorofthisfanfic@baudilare.com  
From: evilolaf@baudilare.com  
Subject: (none)  
:virus included:  
~  
To: evilolaf@baudilare.com  
From: authorofthisfanfic@baudilare.com  
Subject: haha  
Haha! You can't destroy my hard drive because I control you. Instead, you sent me a list of your deepest, darkest secrets and now I'm going to tell them to everyone.  
~  
To: coffcoffbanker@baudilaire.com  
reporterdarkgree@baudilare.com  
poetblack@baudilare.com  
bigtimereader@baudilare.com  
sharptoothbaby@baudilaire.com  
sadrecorder@baudilare.com  
evilolaf@baudilare.com  
alwaysin@baudilare.com  
inventorgirl@baudilare.com  
From: authorofthisfanfic@baudilare.com  
Subject: Olafs secrets  
heeheeheeheeheeheehee. Olaf tried to destroy my hard drive and instead he sent me a list of his deepest darkest secrets. Enjoy! (by the way, I put my comments in brackets)  
  
Olafs Deepest Darkest Secrets  
1) I am a cross dresser [we know that from the Shirly incident. (see book 4)]  
2) I KILLED MY FATHER! NO! I AM MY FATHER! [ok, that was very weird]  
3) I think Esme is a stupid b!+ch [so do I]  
4) I am busy employing the worlds second greatest genius, (after me of course) Artemis Fowl to help me steal the Baudilare fortune. [like Artemis will ever work FOR someone. And if you're a genius, I'm a potato]  
5) My favorite pet is a pastel pink bunny rabbit named foofoo. [0.0()]  
6) I think the spice girls are cool. [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU MUST BE EVIL!! (and I'm sorry if I offended anyone with that ;-)]  
7) I hate steak. I hate putteanesca sauce. [raises eyebrow]  
8) I'm scared of blood [and you call yourself evil?]  
9) I KILLED BEATRICE!! mwahahahahahahaha. [hiss, hiss]  
10) I must be a good guy because I recycle. [sorry, but no your not.]  
11) I wish I had two eyebrows. [thats a stupid wish]  
12) I have a tatto of an eye on my ankle. [No, really?]  
13) VFD stands for 


	2. Response

Inbox chapter two  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lemony Snickett. I do not own any of his charecters or places. I do not own A Seris of Unfortunent Events. I do not own the US. I do not own the world. What I do own is a small, imaginary, island called East New Bonga Bonga, where all my ideas take place. I also own Trina, and anyone else who did not come from the wildly wonderful mind of Lemony Snickett.  
  
Now for review things  
  
Vix- I'm glad you like it  
  
katie janeway- It's not a really big x-over, I'm not that good at them. Yet.  
  
A. S. Snickers- cringe I'm sorry about the spelling. I'm a really bad speller. And of course it's supposed to be pointless. It doesn't make any sense. It's not supposed to.  
  
Kilohana- I'm sorry I confused you, and I'm sorry it's so short.  
  
daydreamer- I'm glad you decided it was funny and not bad ;-)  
  
Kir()- I'm glad you think its funny, and Artemis never would work for Olaf. Mainly because Artemis would never work FOR someone...  
  
Baudelaire Fan()- cringe, blush Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I am so stupid. I knew I should have checked the spelling in the books, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! (I spelled Baudelaire wrong) I promise I will go fix it, so please don't hurt me.  
On with the story  
~  
  
To: authorofthisfanfic@baudelaire.com  
From: evilolaf@baudelaire.com  
Subject: YOU SUCK!!  
  
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! YOU ARE A STUPID, EVIL, AUTHOR! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! HOW DARE YOU SEND THAT LIST TO EVERYONE! YOU SUCK!  
  
~  
To: evilolaf@baudelaire.com  
From: alwaysin@baudelaire.com  
Subject: Jerk!  
You Jerk! How DARE you call me a b!+ch! Go rot in he!!. and by the way, IT'S OVER! Go find another girlfriend, IF you can.  
-Esme  
  
~  
To: authorofthisfanfic@baudelaire.com  
From: sadreporter@baudelaire.com   
Subject: Olafs secrets  
I'm not sure whether to congratgulate you on a job well done, or repremind you for abusing your power.  
With all due respect  
-Lemony Snickett  
  
~  
To: authorofthisfanfic@baudelaire.com  
From: randomfanficreader@baudelaire.com  
Subject: Olaf's secrets  
Do Esme next please!  
  
~  
To: randomfanficreader@baudelaire.com  
From: authorofthisfanfic@baudelaire.com  
Subject: Esme's secrets   
Sorry, I can only do Esme if she sends me a virus. :-(  
  
~  
To: AFII@artemisfowl.net  
From: authorofthisfanfic@baudelaire.com  
Subject: Listen up  
Hey Arty, don't join Count Olaf unless you want me to find your list of depest darkest secrets and post them for the world to see.  
  
~  
To: authorofthisfanfic@baudelaire.com  
From: AFII@artemis.net  
Subject: OK  
If you excuse my language, it will be a cold day in he!! before I work for Olaf- or anybody else. One thing though. Don't. Call. Me. Arty.  
-Artemis Fowl the second  
  
~  
To: inventorgirl@baudelaire.com  
bigtimereader@baudelaire.com  
sharptoothbaby@baudelaire.com   
From: coffcoffbanker@baudelaire.com  
Subject: police  
You children did a very bad thing in murdering that man and I hope you relize that the police are looking for you.  
-Mr Poe.  
  
~  
To: coffcoffbanker@baudelaire.com  
From: inventorgirl@baudelaire.com  
Subject: police  
WE DIDN'T DO IT!  
-Violet  
~  
Thats all for now, I hope you enjoy it. And please review it. 


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